live among us

Here are the errors that I have to edit in my essay:

(MISTAKE) This draft is missing the mark. Most of the questions in this category are not addressed in a satisfactory way.

(RUBRIC) Can the reader perceive the writer’s voice and personality in the text? Does the language in the text feel realistic and authentic? Does the writer come close to her/his topic so that the reader senses a strong connection and commitment?

(MISTAKE) The draft is moving in the right direction in this category, but it needs to be strengthened in all or some of the areas in this category

(RUBRIC) Does the text translate beyond the writer’s personal experience and offers the reader something of value? Does the text aim to make a strong connection to the reader by offering insightful reflection?
(MISTAKE) The draft is moving in the right direction in this category, but it needs to be strengthened in all or some of the areas in this category

And to edit Grammatical errors and sentence structures errors

Jennisel Mancha

ENC 1101

Miami Dade College

11/22/2020

There I was, 5 years ago, shivering and it was not cold in that classroom. I remember as if it had been yesterday. I had been studying for that exam for months, but physics has never been easy for me. The nerves took hold of me during the exam, I was breathing harder and harder and there came a point where I felt like I was drowning, I cried, and I did not know why. It took approximately 20 minutes until my vision started to blur

-You’re good?

-Jenny, breathe

It is the only thing I remember hearing before waking up in the hospital, with oxygen and my parents with a worried face next to me.

-Are you ok? How you feel? – my mom said in an anguished voice

-Well mommy, what happened? – I replied

-It happened again but we will not allow more to happen-my mom said

It was not the first time that I lost consciousness in a situation of stress. Since my grandmother died, the number of times it happened was more and more often. The loss of her for me at 10 years old was very strong, unexpected and traumatic. I saw her smiling and the next one in a hospital full of cables and tubes that kept her alive. A stroke and an undiscovered cancer led her to that state. The truly traumatic thing was being the last person to see her alive. She was at that time Bring lunch to my grandfather, since he was alone taking care of my grandmother and my uncles worked all day. That day he was not there, and my uncles were working in the yard. I took lunch to the kitchen as usual and I gave him a kiss to my abuelita before I went home. And I saw her well at that moment, with something spilled from her mouth, but as a 10-year-old girl I did not see it strange. I stayed by her side until she fell asleep. home, about 7 blocks, about 15 minutes passed. When I got home my Mom was crying, my grandmother had died. At that moment I did not cry, I just tried to clarify her, since she is epileptic, and I did not want her to get worse. 2 days passed and I had my first panic attack after dreaming with my grandmother. Later that day the anxiety attacks were constant, every time I was stressed there were the tremors, the crying and the hyperventilation.

From the day of the Physics test my visits to the psychologist began. Anxiety can be normal in stressful situations. It can be caused by an exam, work, school or simply a situation that generates stress. This makes it difficult to lead a normal life since feelings are intensified in many cases. Anxiety is a feeling fear, restlessness or fear. We can identify anxiety with some symptoms such as: excessive worry, feelings of agitation, restlessness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, irritability, tense muscles, insomnia, panic attacks, irrational fears. Analyzing my case, Anxiety came into my life after a traumatic situation that generated an irrational and excessive fear of the loss of a loved one and situations in life that got out of my hands. An exam for which I was not sure of myself, I generated anxiety and at the same time a panic attack that triggered a loss of consciousness.

From the day of the Physics test my visits to the psychologist began. Anxiety can be normal in stressful situations. It can be caused by an exam, work, school or simply a situation that generates stress. This makes it difficult to lead a normal life since feelings are intensified in many cases. Anxiety is a feeling fear, restlessness or fear. We can identify anxiety with some symptoms such as: excessive worry, feelings of agitation, restlessness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, irritability, tense muscles, insomnia, panic attacks, irrational fears. Analyzing my case, Anxiety came into my life after a traumatic situation that generated an irrational and excessive fear of the loss of a loved one and situations in life that got out of my hands. An exam for which I was not sure of myself, I generated anxiety and at the same time a panic attack that triggered in loss of consciousness. Anxiety disorders are one of the most common psychological disorders in the population in General: According to statistics from American mental health centers, anxiety affects 40 million adults in the United States of the age of 18 years or older, which is equivalent to 18.1% of the population each year.

There are ways to help people with this disorder. Ideally, if they experience one of the symptoms that I experience, they should visit a specialist as soon as possible before the problem worsens. The psychologist who was helping me gave me remedies for anxiety that They changed my life. At that time, he recommended me to do yoga. Together with my paternal grandmother, I started doing yoga every morning in the park, she did it since many years ago and taught me. We practiced deep breathing. I started doing exercises which occupied minus two hours of my day from Monday to Friday. In a stressful situation my psychologist taught me to practice mindfulness, which helps me to connect with the reality that surrounds me. Since panic attacks can cause a feeling of detachment or detachment from reality, this can combat a panic attack as it approaches or when it actually occurs, it is about concentrating on those physical sensations with which we are familiar This can be simply putting our feet on the ground, squeezing something soft, feeling the texture of our clothes. These physical sensations help us to locate ourselves and to concentrate. My psychologist taught me too in case I feel that I panic or am about to focus on a single object that is in sight and look closely at its details. Concentrate all your energy on this object, and the symptoms of panic may decrease. Using muscle relaxation techniques daily is croup This is how we control our body’s response to stress. It is about consciously relaxing one muscle at a time, starting with the simplest, it can be our fingers and little by little doing the same with the other parts of our body. I remember perfectly that my psychologist told me:

-I do not have anything to control a panic attack, the ideal is not to suffer a panic attack, and that is achieved by controlling anxiety every day.

In order not to suffer an anxiety attack, it is essential to control anxiety and reduce stressful situations, although sometimes they are unbearable: sleep well every day, eat healthy, maintain a regular daily schedule, leave the house every day, do activities outdoors free, practice yoga or some sport every day, learn to breathe properly, socializing can be a key factor and so little by little and day by day the anxiety will decrease.

This is the anecdote of how 5 years ago I stopped suffering from anxiety and panic attacks after 5 years of constant attacks. Life is one, along with life happy, sad, stressful moments come hand in hand and our body responds in different ways to each of them. Without help it is sometimes difficult to learn to control ourselves when the situation gets out of hand. Life does not come with instructions and our task to learn to live it as well as possible.