1.      Does the essay contain a clear thesis (with an observation, opinion, and significance)? If something is missing, let the writer know in a note below. Explain.

2.      Does each paragraph provide supporting examples to help sustain the thesis?  What kind of examples? There should be at least two direct quotations from the articles and two-four quotations from the research (in quote sandwich form).  If there is not enough evidence, where might the writer develop particular ideas or paragraphs? Explain.

3.     Does the paper contain a conclusion that answers the So what? question; that is, an answer to the question Why does this paper matter to my reader? Explain.

 4.      Is there a human quality or a voice in the paper?  If not, how might the writer add more of his or her personality into the essay? Explain.

 5.     Does the paper contain writing that illustrates powerful word choice and/or style? Explain.

6.      Do you have any other useful suggestions for improvements or clarifying questions? Explain.

The condition of being unable to stop using or doing something as a habit, especially something harmful – Oxford Dictionary. Just like a drug addiction or an alcoholic addiction, technology addicts know the harmful effects of excess screen time, yet they just cant help it. Unlike other addictions, technology is inevitable and is incredibly difficult to just simply avoid. However, through the use of proper technological boundaries, technology addiction could possibly be avoided.

The detrimental effects of technology have been rigorously studied in recent times. Many logical conclusions have been made regarding what technology can potentially do to the human brain. Most notably, technology has decreased our attention span.  A 2015 Microsoft study shows that the human attention span has severely decreased from a staggering average of 12 seconds in the year 2000 to 8 seconds in 2013. Unsurprisingly, there was a strong correlation between social media usage and attention span where individuals who used social media for long periods of time had a much shorter attention span. Therefore, the evidence clearly shows that technology has impaired our ability to focus which clearly has a detrimental effect on our day-to-day lives.

Depression and anxiety have been closely linked to the use of electronic devices, research from the University of Pittsburgh have found strong correlations between rates of depression and anxiety among young adults who engage in many different social media platforms. This actively demonstrates the adverse effects of the overuse of electronic devices and social media which has an overall negative impact on the mental well-being of its users.

More startling is that execssive use of technology has also been linked to suicide rates. Teens who spend three hours a day or more on electronic devices are 35 percent more likely to have a risk factor for suicide – Jean M. Twenge in Has The Smarthpone Destroyed A Generation. The statistic clearly demonizes the use of electronic devices, almost going as far as labelling it to be a silent killer amongst teens. 

Unrestrained technology use amongst teens and young adults has also been proven to handicap certain skills that would have otherwise been acquired. Adolences is a key time for developing social skills; as teens spend less time with their friends face-to-face, they have fewer opportunities to practice them. Within the article, Twenge also explains that maturity amongst the iGen has stretched much further because of how a lot of the maturing activities; such as going out, dating, personal finance and overall independence; are postponed to much later into adulthood due to restrictions from parents which the teens dont even mind because they dont need to go out anyways. They can just do all that socializing locally within the comfort of their bed.

Technology addiction is also very similar to any types of addictions. Abusing social media and technology releases dopamine in our brain(citation). Dopamine is a feel-good chemical that the brain frequently releases occasionally with proper reason. Identical to any other addiction such as drug or alcohol, the abuse of technology releases dopamine as well which makes it that much more difficult for addicts to regulate or stop their addictions. Addicts are fully aware that the overuse of tech is undeniably unproductive and harmful for their health yet persist to do so because they just cant help it. Therefore, it would be wise to treat technological addiction with the same seriousness as other types of addiction 

Technology addiction is also theorized to a coping mechanism that some use when experiencing psychological difficulties as noted by researchers from the London School of Economics in 2012. The research study notes that children who are psychologically vulnerable are more likely to engage in excessive internet use to cope with offline problems. It also argues that technological addiction might be a symptom of a broader problem present within the addict. Much of this theory of what technology addiction is congruent to other addictions in such a way that certain addicts are addicted as a way of distracting them from a psychologically heavy problem that is too overwhelming for them to handle, therefore, they resort to their addictions as escapes or distractions.

What sets technological addiction apart from other types of addiction is that technological addiction is inevitable. Unlike alcohol which can easily be removed from ones diet, technology can not. It is already very deeply ingrained within society which makes it all the more difficult for technology addicts to just drop technology from their daily lives without finding themselves back to using it again. It is simply extremely difficult, if not impossible to live without technology.

With that being said, how can we cure or avoid technology addiction? 

In 2010, Nick Bilton, a New York Times reporter got the chance to interview Steve Jobs – whom at the time was the CEO of Apple. It is revealed that Steve Jobs forbids his kids from owning Apples new tablet at the time, the Ipad. Jobs also made it a point on having dinner at the big long table in their kitchen discussing books and history and a variety of other things. The pattern also persists for the CEO of Microsoft, Bill Gates who puts a screen time cap for his 10-year-old daughter such that she doesnt get too addicted to a particular video game. Gates also forbids his daughter from ever owning a phone until she was 14, 4 years later than the average child. 

What the 2 evidences suggest is that even the creators of the addictive technology we now see today understand the potential harmful effects such technology has. Therefore, as society it would be wise to take a page from the actions and habits these inventors have enforced to their household and follow suit. We could create a much better, healthier and tech-friendly environment with the people around us which limits the use of technology in certain time periods. We could also set strict technological boundaries such that we dont allow technology to consume the very essence of our lives. All these measures might be necessary to avoid technology addiction and create a much more social and humane community for everyone to live in.

Ultimately, technology addiction is still a relatively new type of addiction that has only recently been diagnosed which means that it is still within debate amongst psychologists.  Needless to say, the detrimental effects of technology abuse is clear and shouldnt be undermined. We also mustnt forget that unlike other addictions like alcohol and drugs, technology is inescapable which makes it more important for us to take a step back and re-evaluate our own technological use and question if its over-excessive.

Essay 2: